perchancetodreammods (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
perchancetodreammods) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
idream_ofmemes2023-04-05 09:59 pm
perchancetodreammods) wrote in idream_ofmemes2023-04-05 09:59 pm
Entry tags:
TDM #7 - April Showers (and Other Weather Conditions)
April Showers (and Other Weather Conditions)
New Arrivals
You wake from what should have been a normal night of sleep bolting upright from what is very clearly the bed you went to sleep in that night, but in a strange place. A tower, high in the air, with huge open windows that clouds could lazily float through. Before you is a massive oaken double door, emblazoned with a carving of an eye, and a note on black lies atop your bedsheets. The note instructs you to go through the door and come to a place called the Torn Oak for more answers, and is signed by someone called "the Outsider." You climb out of bed, pull on the door handle, and step out into an ethereal, mysterious, ever-shifting world of dreams.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Welcome to the Dreamscape. A beautiful, endless dream where you and a bunch of other unique and interesting minds from across the multiverse have been gathered to connect, commiserate, and make the impossible... possible! There are many fantastical locales to explore and even more to come, and you are given your very own Nimbus Cloud to serve as your home. This puffy pink cloud will host a pocket dimension just for you where the only limit to what you can create is your own imagination. Missing personal items or locations from the waking world? No problem--- the only thing you have to do in order to earn feathers, the local currency, is make meaningful connections with others. In fact, making these meaningful connections seems to be the only task assigned to you by your mysterious host, the Outsider.
In order to make your way in this weird and whimsical world, you'll need to form lasting bonds with your fellow dreamers, learn more about the Outsider and their intentions, and stay on your toes. There is something very strange happening here, and despite their jolly demeanor, they are clearly struggling to maintain control of their own domain--- something that could land all of you in danger.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Welcome to the Dreamscape. A beautiful, endless dream where you and a bunch of other unique and interesting minds from across the multiverse have been gathered to connect, commiserate, and make the impossible... possible! There are many fantastical locales to explore and even more to come, and you are given your very own Nimbus Cloud to serve as your home. This puffy pink cloud will host a pocket dimension just for you where the only limit to what you can create is your own imagination. Missing personal items or locations from the waking world? No problem--- the only thing you have to do in order to earn feathers, the local currency, is make meaningful connections with others. In fact, making these meaningful connections seems to be the only task assigned to you by your mysterious host, the Outsider.
In order to make your way in this weird and whimsical world, you'll need to form lasting bonds with your fellow dreamers, learn more about the Outsider and their intentions, and stay on your toes. There is something very strange happening here, and despite their jolly demeanor, they are clearly struggling to maintain control of their own domain--- something that could land all of you in danger.
DATE
4/5/2023
THEME
Weather-themed music and springtime!
QUICK NAV
Constellations
When you join the Dreamscape, you will receive a magical Constellation pendant, allowing you to connect to the DreamNet! The star-shaped pendant, which varies depending on your personal style, lights up and projects a hologram screen that will allow you to send messages, videos, and voice calls. A handy way to stay connected with fellow dreamers on the go that is intuitive enough for anyone to understand, whether you come from a world where email has been invented or not!
Mr. Blue Sky
{Electric Light Orchestra} ♫♪♩♬
Do you have a television in your Nimbus Cloud? Or perhaps you just have the screen of light that can be displayed from your Constellation charm. Whatever the case may be, it flicks on, and the Outsider is in a suit. No, not their usual ornate body suit, but a poorly-tailored black and white business suit, completed with a cloud-print tie. They are standing in front of a map of the Dreamscape, holding a pointing stick. They look ridiculous, even a bit disheveled. As they begin to speak, both their tone and their smile appear to be more forced than usual.
“Good afternoon, Dreamscape residents! It’s spring time here, which means we are officially clear of snowstorm territory and on to warm breezes, lovely flowers, and fresh leaves on all the trees. And of course it wouldn’t be spring without a little unpredictable weather!”
Cloud formations ranging from green to yellow to red began forming on their map, moving slowly across it from left to right.
“As you can see, we have some rather unique weather conditions rolling in! They’ll be rotating through all the locations in the Dreamscape, and changing every few hours, so I recommend that all of you stay up to date. I’ve provided resources on your Constellations and on any electronic devices in the Dreamscape to help you get the latest information on what weather will be impacting you, and what impact it will have on your location! Good luck out there, and whatever the weather, it’s better together!”
The Outsider’s rather cheesy presentation of the newest Dreamscape event, while amusing, seems out of character with their normally heartfelt or enthusiastic monologues. But before you have time to really dwell on that, the sky above you begins to shift and change. The spring time weather conditions are quickly arriving, affecting every location in the Dreamscape, and each type of weather has a magical effect of some kind that is influenced by the location itself and the people in it. You can choose whether to look up these effects and stay prepared or fly blind and hope for the best, but these weather conditions will be affecting every location except inside Nimbus Clouds!
Here Comes the Sun
{The Beatles} ♫♪♩♬
Everyone loves a sunny day, especially during a rainy season like early spring! If you’re in a place with sunshine, you’re in luck.
Clouds part above you, warmth filling the air as the sun’s golden rays envelop you and the landscape around you in a honey glow. As sunlight touches the ground, flowers begin to bloom in droves on any surface it might be reasonable to find them, and fresh green leaves sprout from the branches of every tree present. The sweet scent of nectar and florals fills the air everywhere that this light graces the ground, but the effects are particularly potent in the botanical gardens. The warm and almost heavenly glow from the celestial body above seems to soften the whole world, as if everything is faded slightly like an old photograph.
Breathe in. Take that sweetness into your lungs. Feel the warmth on your skin. You can feel a strange, calm euphoria rise up from your core so strongly that you feel compelled to exhale it out. With the dreamy light of the sun, you are instilled with a nearly overpowering joy. What will you do with this unexpected moment of bliss? Who will you spend it with? Will you reminisce about your favorite times, discover who you are without your burdens, or just allow yourself to float through the merry fields of flowers and forget? And of course, all this begs another important question--- how will you cope when it ends?
Northern Downpour
{Panic! at the Disco} ♫♪♩♬
One of the milder ones on the roster, light rains are the most common weather conditions you will encounter. Ranging from fading drizzles with a bit of sun to gloomy but calm showers, these peaceful storms have a large spread, change intensity often, and last longer than the other weather conditions. Occasionally, these storms can impact a single location for days at a time rather than just a few hours. If waiting out the rain doesn’t suit your schedule, there’s a shop in the Twisted City having a half off sale on umbrellas (making them only one feather, instead of two), but finding the shop is another matter. As with most shops in the Twisted City, it has a habit of disappearing, and reappearing elsewhere… But it’ll turn up eventually. (Probably.)
Whether you’re out in the rain or sheltered inside, the effect of the light rain is the same. As the persistent, musical sound of water droplets striking every surface fills the air and thrums in your ears, you begin to feel profoundly nostalgic, and feelings that you’ve been hiding or ignoring bubble to the surface. While it is up to you if this is enough to compel you to speak on these feelings, you will find that they nag at you, affecting your mood and plaguing your idle thoughts. Perhaps this is the time to have a conversation you’ve been avoiding?
Thunderclouds
{LSD} ♫♪♩♬
Another particularly common weather event that you’ll come across is heavy thunderstorms scattered in amongst the light rain. Much like the former, less intense version, these storms can linger, though not as long, and feature darker skies, heavier showers reaching up to the point of torrential downpours and even flooding, and the distant rumbling of thunder and flashes of lightning. The electricity is usually far enough in the distance that the rain is safe to walk in if you have an umbrella or don’t mind getting wet. Maybe you’re even the sort who likes to play in the rain--- in which case you’re in luck, these puddles are HUGE. However, this is also a great opportunity to huddle up and stay inside where it’s cozy.
Unlike the light rain, however, the heavy thunderstorms don’t influence your emotions. Instead, they are influenced by yours. Those in calm, playful, or romantic moods might see the storms grow a little lighter, the skies a brighter shade of gray, while Dreamers dealing with sadness might find the rain around them to be colder and heavier, or perhaps the clouds above you are darker and crackling with more lightning if you’re angry or scared. If you’re looking to change the vibe, start by changing the mood. Whether the severity of the storm is affected by you or the person next to you, a conversation could be enough to change the weather, and the state of the skies could be an indicator that someone around you could use a friend.
Jump Into the Fog
{The Wombats} ♫♪♩♬
More common at night or early in the morning, there is a slightly rarer chance that you’ll run into a patch of thick fog as you wander the Dreamscape. Dense, soupy, and gray, this fog is so intense it makes it hard to see more than a few feet in front of you, and will chill you down to your bones. Where fog is present, the sounds of the world will be duller, and everything will be eerily still.
This fog is not as innocent as the rain, however, and this is a very severe weather condition. As the cold sets in, sinking through your skin and making you shiver, so does a pervasive sense of anxiety, and a fear of the unknown. Listen closely and you’ll hear strange, unsettling sounds or barely-audible murmurs in the distance. What’s out there? It sounds so close, and yet you can’t see it.
What lurks in the fog is drawn from your own fears, and if you stray too far into the dense clouds, you’ll be met with a source of deep fear or stress from your own mind. Whether that’s monsters, people, places---you’ll find yourself among things that distress you. However, if you find another Dreamer to walk with, you may be able to escape the clutches of the fog. All you have to do is maintain physical contact with your companion. Hold hands, link arms, stand shoulder to shoulder or back to back, whatever works best for you, and as you proceed you’ll find that the fog is confused by the pairing, resulting in a fusion of your fears with those of your companion. Perhaps they conflict with one another, form something altogether new, or even result in something comical. Either way, this will allow you to share your burden with a friend, creating a situation that is easier to handle for both of you. Face your fears together, and the fog will lift, revealing the way forward. Or, if confrontation isn’t in the cards, you can always find somewhere indoors to hunker down and comfort each other until the danger passes instead.
Eye of the Storm
{MARINA} ♫♪♩♬
There is one more weather condition that it’s possible to run into, though this one is far less common and far more severe than any of the others. You almost won’t notice it at first as clouds loom overhead, threatening you with rain but never committing to it, and a brisk breeze blows through. However, the once-gentle gusts will escalate quickly, evolving into high winds with nearly enough force to bowl someone over.
As your hair and clothes whip in the wind, debris from the area begins to swirl around near the ground, and a piece of paper, fluttering in the breeze, flies up and slaps you, sticking to your body with the force of the gales. You peel it away from you and can barely make out the words printed on its surface before the rough winds rip it out of your hands and send it tumbling off into the distance.
Catch me if you can.
The page disappears from view, and there is a moment of complete, terrifying stillness as the tempest gales that seemed fit to carry you off just moments ago just drop off into nothing.
The paper, you realize, is cursed, having chosen you as its target, and from your mind a crisis of some kind is selected from your fears or memories and inflicted upon the surrounding area. This can be a natural disaster, an attacking army or monster, a chaotic mishap, or any other manner of catastrophe big enough to afflict the area you’re in, and it can range from comical to terrifying, all while massive gusts of wind bluster through the area. There are only two ways to end the disastrous effects of the high winds--- either resolve the crisis by overcoming the problem itself, or find that piece of paper and destroy it while the effects of the crisis attempt to keep you away from it, and the winds will persist until one of these things happens. Good luck out there! Maybe if you have an Emergency Wish, that could help you out?
Rain on Me
{Lady Gaga} ♫♪♩♬
As rotating weather effects impact the Dreamscape, this may be a good time to explore previous locations and see how they’ve changed with the weather and seasons. Investigate original locations like the Glass Lake and Twisted City, take the ferry over to Marrow Isle and see how Pumpkin Hollow looks in the spring, or visit your friends’ additions from last month’s wishing contest. Peruse the Locations page if you need ideas on where to go!
With all this rain, we’re sure to see some build-up over the course of this month, which will undoubtedly influence what’s to come, so stay tuned!
Additional Info!
-The Feather Info pages have yet to be updated with this information, but going forward we will be adding a new feather gain category: Shared Joy! You can earn this feather by meaningfully deepening your bond with another person over a shared wonderful moment of bliss. This is a fairly flexible category, but carries some weight. The rule of thumb is that it will count for any joyful interaction that brings characters significantly closer. Cannot be applied retroactively.
- Don't forget that we have a birthday chart for both players and characters!
-Reminder that activity check for March going into April has been waived. Existing players did not need to do AC this past week. Barring incident, it should resume as normal next month.
-NEW PLAYERS! Feel free to request a Discord link!
And last but not least, we have the winners of the wishing contest from last month's members-only event. Votes for first place were given 3 points, second place for 2, and third place for 1, ensuring that each vote was weighted according to priority.
In Third Place was Little Inkopolis & the ColisSeaum. Pearl Houzuki is awarded a free jumbo umbrella big enough for two people to stand under!
In Second Place was Blood Moon Library. Lioriley and Astarion are awarded a pair of stylish raincoats and a two-person umbrella of their own, to share.
In First Place is Rainbow Road. Princess Peach Toadstool and Lucas Kovach are awarded their own bespoke raincoats and colorful umbrellas respectively, as well as a letter informing that they will have the privilege of assisting in the planning of next month's Steamboat Gala. Details on that to be announced at the end of April!
An honorable mention to CB Ranch and Ambrosia Lounge, which tied for fourth place and were not far behind! A huge huge HUGE thank you to everyone who participated in making last month's event fun and filled with player participation!
no subject
"Oh just a bit. Like I said, been around here awhile so I've run into people from way different times and places than I came from, and I had a little bit of experience with temporal displacement beforehand which didn't hurt." Even if the guy doesn't get all of that, it'll hopefully be a distraction.
Jack would probably freeze like he did that moment in the Ritz if this had been the first time the universe had thrown this at him, but now he can't help just barking out a short laugh of his own, only keeping the edge of hysterics at bay through too much practice.
"Of course you are. Tell me, what year was it the last time you checked? "
no subject
…unsettled? Maybe—it’s pretty similar to how he felt that night when he was forced to shoot Alex…
“Back in Cardiff? 2007.” Jack replied after withdrawing his hand, resting them on his hips. “But then, uh—well, I did a little traveling.”
no subject
"And it was the end of 2007 when I left Cardiff before winding up there," he lets out a shaky breath, not sure if he's supposed to laugh or cry given the possible dangers of this situation--he's not sure those will happen in this place, after all. "Well, guess it was bound to happen that I'd run into some version of me eventually, all things considered. Definitely not how I expected that to happen, but I'm not really sure what I did expect."
no subject
This man calling himself Jack—this man with the eyes he can’t forget.
The rain stops. The world goes still, and the air is ice cold.
Jack has to stop and think for a long moment. He has to be sure, because he’s lost so much to madness and time, to slow torture and more years than any human man was meant to carry in his head.
He has to make sure he’s remembering the right name, so when he says it out loud it’s slow, careful, deliberate. It’s discovery and denouncement, a certainty he’s wrong and that hope, that scrap of hope that kept him from oblivion screaming that maybe he’s right.
“…Javic Piotr Thane.”
no subject
A name he knows he should know. A name he forgot because…
Because he couldn't remember. Couldn't hang onto it, not when it meant hanging on to memories that would have devoured him long before he joined Torchwood if he hadn't buried them…
But no matter how much of himself he's buried and destroyed, there are a couple things he couldn't afford to forget no matter how much they hurt. Because if he did, it would mean giving up hope of ever fixing the worst mistake he ever made--
"If this is a trick, you are going to wish I'd killed you," he hisses. Then, taking a deep breath and squeezes his eyes shut, to steady himself and find the person he needs to be if this isn't a trick or sick joke, if…
"I forgot the name my--" he can't think of his parents, not here, not now. "The name I first wore a long time ago. I've forgotten a lot of things. But if you're who I want you to be, I couldn't forget anything about you," he swallows before he opens his eyes, not quite crying yet but definitely threatening to, and his voice is scarcely above a whisper. "Gray?"
CW: allusions to the first stages of a panic attack
Javic found him, of course—but the way he called out his name…that memory had been gone for half a century until this moment. Until Jack—until Grayheard it again, deeper and more even in adulthood.
Without hesitating Gray punched him, square in the jaw.
A second later, he was on him, arms wrapping him in a crushing embrace as he gulped down huge, heaving breaths, trying to keep his heart from beating out of his chest, fighting to keep the spots from dancing in his vision.
Clinging to him as relentlessly as he’d clung to reason and hope for so many years, through so much pain.
“I knew it.” He chokes out. “I knew it…I knew…”
I knew I would find you. I knew I remembered you. I knew you wouldn’t abandon me. I knew Mickey kept me alive for a reason. I knew I wasn’t alone.
He wants to say it all out loud, but he can’t. Gray can’t find enough air, can’t find enough words. He can only hold on for dear life and keep trying to cling to sanity as the sky opens up again—this time with a torrential downpour that beats down, hard and angry but warm as a summer night.
“I knew…I knew…I knew…”
CW: allusions to problem drinking and generally self destructive behaviors
It's strange how much better his body is at remembering things than his mind, especially considering all the ways it has been damaged through the decades. Because despite the vast difference in both of their statures since the last time they were in this position, Jack doesn't have to think for a moment about how to wrap his arms around his brother to comfort him.
"I never stopped looking," he whispers against Gray's hair. "Even when I was stuck in places it should have been impossible for you to be, I never stopped." The instinctive urge to apologize, to plead forgiveness for the unforgivable fact he hadn't noticed until it was far too late, rises in his throat but he holds it back. Not now. Not with Gray has clearly, understandably delicate as he is right now. Neither of them could handle that day being brought into the light right now, but Gray at least doesn't deserve to remember it so clearly, not when the sky is just starting to clear.
no subject
The chanting never stops, but eventually the heaving breaths begin to slow a little and the shaking begins. Tremors rather than sobs, trembling because he lost the ability to shed tears and be that vulnerable a century or more before. It’s so strange that here, now, with Javic holding onto him, holding the pieces together, that Gray finally slips into madness—unable to hold a thought in his head, to question or to reason.
Only cling. Only hear. Only feel. That thing that had ruined his life, that thing that saved him enough times to bring him here—back to his big brother’s side.
Eventually, after what seems like ages of spiraling deeper into madness, relief, joy, fury, and hatred, he finally shoves his face into his big brother’s shoulder and finds air enough to finish the thought.
“I knew…I knew you’d save me.”
no subject
He has a suspicion about what started the damage, even if it wasn't wholly to blame, but he can't ask. Not even just because of how dangerous it would be in this particular place, but not ever. He can't do that to Gray, to himself--can't have one of his worst fears confirmed.
So he does the one thing he can, the one thing he's done so very well since that day. He lies. Maybe it's kinder than other lies he's told, and maybe it will be true, but he knows it's not entirely right now. But he'll do his damndest to make it true.
"It's okay," he whispers, tightening his hold--to help Gray come back to himself or to reassure himself this is really happening, he's not quite sure. "It's okay Gray. It's okay. You're safe. And I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying here. I'll always be here for you." At least that part's true, and this time he doesn't feel like it's anything but a gift.
no subject
When he could have given up, given in, and let the rage take him—maybe even make him hate Javic.
Between the solid feel of Javic’s arms around him and the horror of even entertaining such a reality, Gray finds some measure of composure, that scrap of reason that has abandoned him. Drawing back just enough to look Javic in the eye, he grips one of his shoulders hard enough to bruise, even through a heavy wool greatcoat only a little different from the one he wore sometimes.
“It is okay.” He growls, eyes narrowing as he shook his head. “You don’t understand, I…”
I’m a monster. I’m a killer. I hurt people because I can’t stop, and when I’m hurting someone that’s harmed what I love I enjoy it. I’m not good enough to be your brother anymore.
He can feel his chest starting to heave again, so he pushes the words aside. He wraps his hands around Javic’s face and brings their foreheads together, looking into his brother’s eyes with two hundred years worth of bloodlust and hope.
“You did save me. And it is okay.”
He paused, and the laugh that escapes him is borderline hysterical.
“Thanes are dead and gone—I guess we’re the Brothers Harkness now, huh?”
no subject
Too much time.
It could just be the weight the universe leaves on everyone who sees too much no person should see once. It could be. He shouldn't want it to be. But it's somehow less terrifying than the alternative. He doesn't know if he can face the idea that Gray might know what he does, the knowledge no one is supposed to be able to return to share.
So right now, he lets himself be the coward the Doctor saved. It's safer not to ask, to let himself be in denial about everything besides the fact Gray is here. It doesn't matter in this moment what all has passed since that horrible day and now.
(It should matter, a lot. Maybe if he weren't dealing with this by himself, it would. But he is, so he has to protect himself in the only ways he has, to be what Gray needs him to be)
His own laugh is weak, but a bit less terrifying if only because it's mostly because Gray's laughing and still keeping hold of him, and maybe it's not what it should be, but it's not just in his own heartbreaking dreams, and that's enough.
"Should give you a headsup," he says, smiling with still-misty eyes, "that is probably going to confuse a couple of folks here. Haven't talked much about myself when I can help it, but a few of 'em… know me enough that it's going to take at least some explaining. At some point. Not until you're okay with it."
no subject
He’s fine with anything that keeps his family together. Whoever he has to hurt. Whoever he has to kill…but not today.
“We’ll figure it out. Together.” He echoes, hands settling on Javic’s shoulders…then blinks and looks down at himself before peering up at the sky, where the downpour has become a warm, gentle rain.
“We should probably get out of the rain.” He observed with a wry smile, a real one that reached his eyes, touching them with something grim.
“Somewhere away from the sun.”
Because that false taste of perfect contentment—aside from that doctor—was what landed him out in this mess in the first place.
no subject
He'd tried to bury that man, but he insisted on hanging around to be on hand for moments like what had happened in Breacon Beacons, when he'd had to face that Ianto had brought a monster into the Hub in hopes of saving her…
And moments like this. Because he knew that, no matter how much he'd regret it afterwards, he'd still do every horrible thing he knew to do to a body if it's what was needed to keep Gray safe this time. And more than that, to maybe stop his brother from doing the same thing for him, when he's so much less deserving of that sort of violent protection.
But he shoved that anxiety down into the place where he kepts so many other feelings and memories he can't allow himself the luxury of examining for more than a moment. and then he was smiling--not the way he did for a bureaucrat he's trying to get to cut some red tape, or anyone he's chatting up or a real lover. This was smaller, but somehow warmer at the same time. An echo of the way he'd look at his brother when helping him up when he fell in the sand and their parents weren't in earshot to do the important work of reassuring him.
"Yeah, good idea," the laughter in his voice was nearly genuine, as he put an arm around Gray's shoulders (he was terrified he'd never be able to really lose touch with him now, but it's a fear he could live with). "Do you want me to-" Stay with you caught in his throat, because his brother's grown and even though he's clearly broken, he might not find anyone--even Jack (especially Jack)--staying in his Nimbus a comfort. "...take you somewhere particular? Guessing you're still getting the lay of the land."
no subject
It's a knee jerk reaction, the kind he's gotten good at suppressing over the last two hundred years, but right now he's so raw, bleeding from the inside. He's a child again, he's being tortured, he's screaming for Mom and Dad and Javic, Javic, please save him Javic--
His hands fly, fumble, scrape and claw until he's got both wrapped around Jack's hand attached to the arm around his shoulder. His expression is one of pure panic at the very suggestion that he might go somewhere his brother isn't, that he's slipped the leash of sanity completely this time and that he'll discover this isn't real if Javic leaves his side.
Gray's grip is hard enough to feel the grind of bone against bone as he clings to Jack's fingers with both hands, and he's too panicked to care.
"I...I'm--" He stops and swallows, trying and failing to reclaim his composure, the mask of competency and humanity, easy charm and calm that hide the monster he's become.
"...I'm...still learning. My way around, yeah--just don't--don't leave me, Javic. Please."
no subject
No no no no, Dad, come with us.
Can someone help? Please!
He grits his teeth, willing that terrified child to go back into hiding. He's done it long enough, it won't hurt him to do it a bit longer. Or forever. Forever would be great.
It only takes a second, even if it does leave Jack feeling like his heart's going to beat right out of his chest, and then he's back to the better version of that boy, the one who had actually taken care of Gray like he was supposed to.
"I won't," he says, gently. "I'll stay, as long as you need me to. Whatever you need, I'll do it." Which is a very dangerous promise for a man like him to make, but he means it--more than he's meant anything else in a very long time.
no subject
He sags against him a little, suddenly exhausted—emotionally and physically, exhausted in his marrow. He’s waited nearly two hundred years, clung to hope and reason like a lifeline and now he doesn’t have to hold onto something so ephemeral.
He can just…reach out.
Releasing Javic’s hand, Gray leans into him heavily and drapes his arm around his shoulders in turn.
“Let’s go figure out where I live.” Gray laughs wearily. “I think, for the first time in almost two hundred years, I need a damn nap—and I’m already dreaming.”
no subject
And then, suddenly, just as he's started to walk his throat feels like it's closing again as he takes in Gray's words. He wants to ignore them, wants to just put them off to his brother's understandable mental exhaustion but…
"Sorry, for a second there I thought you said something about kicking around for two hundred years," he says, forcing a bit of a laugh into his voice, even as his heart starts racing again with a bizarre mix of terror and elation.
no subject
“I did.” Gray replied, his eyes widening as his heart twists with that same fear and guilty joy. “I…Javic, something happened to me. A long time ago—in the future. There was an attack, and—and I got killed, but…but something happened and I came back. I’m…sorta stuck.”
Swallowing thickly, he takes a deep breath and steels himself.
“I—I can’t die, Javic. I can’t,, I…I keep coming back. I can’t…I can’t die.”
no subject
"Neither can I," he says, voice tight, scarcely above a whisper. "Same thing, I was fighting, I lost, but then I came back and now…I leave, but I keep coming back. For almost the same length of time," he forces a choked laugh. "Guess the universe really did want to make sure we found each other again, huh?"
no subject
Why is he so upset? He can hear it, see it—
Gray moves to wrap him in a fierce hug.
“You better not be upset that I’m like this, Javic.” He whispers. “Or that you’re like this. I hung onto you for so long…to stay alive, to stay sane, and every day it got harder to remember you, much less myself.”
He clings tighter, deliberately.
“Now I can hold onto you for real, big brother—and I’m going to. Forever…and neither one of us would have made it here if not for what happened. It’s…it’s hard, but no one can tear us apart now, so if you’re upset that I’m like you, or you’re like me? I’m gonna have to punch you again, so—stop it, dummy.”
no subject
"Okay, okay. I get it," he wraps his arms around Gray, breathing in his hair. "I just--I know what it's…like, going through it, over and over. Guess it freaked me out a lot to think about you knowing what it's like, too. Kinda my job as your big brother not to want you to get hurt, you know"
And that's such an overwhelmingly, wonderful painful thing to be able to say. That he gets to be able to be Gray's brother again, gets to worry about him and do it right
He can't let himself touch the topic of how hard it is to hang onto yourself when you have too much time and pain in your head, not right now. "But I'm not upset you're here, that you stayed. I could never be upset about that, no matter how it happened." He grins, "And if I ever make you even suspect I am, I will be totally okay with you clocking me again."
CW: VERY vague suicidal ideation (comfort w/being dead)
The dark, the quiet…the nothingness. Maybe it bothers Javic, but—for Gray it’s soothing. Those moments in the dark, when nothing is anything, when nothing hurts…those are the moments when he can rest. Or at least they were, for a long time.
Now that he has his brother back, the void doesn’t seem so appealing. But he’ll tell Javic…one day. So he doesn’t worry. Today, however, is not that day.
Today, he grins and draws back to sock Javic lightly in the shoulder before pointing at him.
“I’ll hold you to that. Strictly.” He warns with a laugh. “And I’ll do it twice if you try to fast talk your way out of it.”