The thing about immortality is that Gray has gotten really good at lying himself—and Javic has gotten as good as he is, if not better, but he still knows his brother. He has to, he has to believe he still knows him or he held onto himself for nothing. He can’t have lost that memory, too, not when it could have been so different.

When he could have given up, given in, and let the rage take him—maybe even make him hate Javic.

Between the solid feel of Javic’s arms around him and the horror of even entertaining such a reality, Gray finds some measure of composure, that scrap of reason that has abandoned him. Drawing back just enough to look Javic in the eye, he grips one of his shoulders hard enough to bruise, even through a heavy wool greatcoat only a little different from the one he wore sometimes.

“It is okay.” He growls, eyes narrowing as he shook his head. “You don’t understand, I…”

I’m a monster. I’m a killer. I hurt people because I can’t stop, and when I’m hurting someone that’s harmed what I love I enjoy it. I’m not good enough to be your brother anymore.

He can feel his chest starting to heave again, so he pushes the words aside. He wraps his hands around Javic’s face and brings their foreheads together, looking into his brother’s eyes with two hundred years worth of bloodlust and hope.

“You did save me. And it is okay.”

He paused, and the laugh that escapes him is borderline hysterical.

“Thanes are dead and gone—I guess we’re the Brothers Harkness now, huh?”