At another time, Jack would just be grateful that apparently whatever's going inside this other Jack's head has calmed enough for the storm to die down. But right now he can't be grateful, because he can't think. It's amazing his brain is functioning enough to breath, as it feels like it's stopped focusing on anything but that name.
A name he knows he should know. A name he forgot because…
Because he couldn't remember. Couldn't hang onto it, not when it meant hanging on to memories that would have devoured him long before he joined Torchwood if he hadn't buried them…
But no matter how much of himself he's buried and destroyed, there are a couple things he couldn't afford to forget no matter how much they hurt. Because if he did, it would mean giving up hope of ever fixing the worst mistake he ever made--
"If this is a trick, you are going to wish I'd killed you," he hisses. Then, taking a deep breath and squeezes his eyes shut, to steady himself and find the person he needs to be if this isn't a trick or sick joke, if…
"I forgot the name my--" he can't think of his parents, not here, not now. "The name I first wore a long time ago. I've forgotten a lot of things. But if you're who I want you to be, I couldn't forget anything about you," he swallows before he opens his eyes, not quite crying yet but definitely threatening to, and his voice is scarcely above a whisper. "Gray?"
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A name he knows he should know. A name he forgot because…
Because he couldn't remember. Couldn't hang onto it, not when it meant hanging on to memories that would have devoured him long before he joined Torchwood if he hadn't buried them…
But no matter how much of himself he's buried and destroyed, there are a couple things he couldn't afford to forget no matter how much they hurt. Because if he did, it would mean giving up hope of ever fixing the worst mistake he ever made--
"If this is a trick, you are going to wish I'd killed you," he hisses. Then, taking a deep breath and squeezes his eyes shut, to steady himself and find the person he needs to be if this isn't a trick or sick joke, if…
"I forgot the name my--" he can't think of his parents, not here, not now. "The name I first wore a long time ago. I've forgotten a lot of things. But if you're who I want you to be, I couldn't forget anything about you," he swallows before he opens his eyes, not quite crying yet but definitely threatening to, and his voice is scarcely above a whisper. "Gray?"