For one brief second, with the Doctor’s hand on his shoulder, John is back in Hope again, back in this nightmare…but a different part of it.

A hand curling against his jaw. Leather pants and a t shirt, armor against John’s demons. Warm breath and a promise of time…a comrade’s pledge to stand firm.

Jack stood with him against this. He didn’t have to. As John looks over at the Doctor with genuine, heartbreaking confusion, he can’t fathom why anyone would offer him forgiveness of any kind. Least of all a doctor. Jack’s steadfastness, the Doctor’s absolution that has so much weight to it that it feels…real.

“Why?” He asks softly for the second time within his own nightmare.

Why would you forgive me? How can you even begin to forgive me? Why do you even want to forgive me when I can’t forgive myself?